ani ruhama

Many apologies for the lack of updates. It’s been a good week, but also a crazy blur, and my life has run away without me and left me scrambling to get everything done. I just slept for 14 hours though, which I’m sure will help with the recovery.

So now I sit here, staring blankly at the screen, wondering what I should write that would deeply engage you in its profundities, or at least keep you from abandoning my blog forever. I don’t really have anything deep to say…I probably used all of that up last night at Diana’s house. We were supposed to go to Common Grounds, and then her big fluffy bed ended up being too comfortable and I never got up again. So we talked there instead about the same list of things we talk about every single time we see each other: God, politics, relationships, and computers. I mean, what else is there in life?

My biggest little brother Jonathan just called me. He’s a sophomore in college, and he’s pretty darn cool.

I never told you what my Great Adventure was that I posted about. I got my hair cut pretty short, and have bangs (of the swoop variety) for the first time in my life, and it’s adorable. My roommate calls it a social worker hair cut one moment, and then tells me I look like a hot French girl the next. I think she’s just confused.

I have papers and projects and those sort of things to do this weekend, and for some reason, I don’t think I’ll get much done. As usual. Anyhow, now you know I’m alive, and still posting occasionally, and I’ll try to come up with more interesting stuff to write later.

I concluded today, as I often do, that the world is in a sad and pathetic state.

Reason Number One: As gas prices dropped briefly below $2.00, the world rejoiced, until they woke up this morning and found prices risen again by about 25 cents per gallon. Apparently, this caused mass panic, as the few gas stations in town with prices still at $1.98 experienced lines of five to seven cars per pump waiting to save a couple precious dollars on their tank of gas. It looked more like an oil shortage had just been declared and everyone feared that if they didn’t get gas before it ran out, they would never get it again.

Our generation is spoiled. We’ve never experienced oil shortages, or lines stretching far down the street of people desperately hoping to get a couple gallons of gas before the station runs out, or anything of the sort. A month ago, we’d died and gone to heaven if we found gas for $2.25, but now we’ll wait in line for 20 minutes to avoid paying such an outrageous price. So, I’ve decided, we’re pathetic.

Reason Number Two and Worse: As I sat at a local coffee shop tonight, typing a paper I really should’ve started a week ago and consuming ungodly amounts of caffeine in the process, I looked around the room at the other computer users. They were all hard at work, clicking away on their little computers, doing such valuable work as Facebook poking their friends. And writing on their friend’s Facebook walls. And finding newer and cooler Facebook groups to join. And even sending Facebook messages to their girlfriends and boyfriends sitting right next to them on the couch. It was then that I realized what a low we’ve sunk to…

I’d take down my Facebook account…but now I’m trapped in the World Wide Web like a poor little fly about to be eaten for dinner. Not because I’m addicted, mind you, at least not most of the time. It’s really got more to do with the fact that I close out my account, I’ll suddenly lose my point of contact for all the parties on campus, all the latest news on breakups and hookups and those much-too-common engagements, all the cute pictures of people and places and things…and worst of all, how will anyone ever tell me they’re thinking of me without being able to poke me? So, pretty much, I’m stuck. I wonder what happens if I rebel anyways and close my account…? Sadly, I’ll probably never find out, putting me in a situation that’s not much better than everyone else in the coffee house tonight. Except I didn’t visit Facebook once while I was there. Maybe there’s a shred of hope left for me.

Nothing terribly interesting to say…just, it was a good weekend, though less academically productive than the student in me might’ve preferred. But the rest of me, the part that emerges more every day as I move from my life as a foolish college kid to that of an entirely mature and upstanding member of society (heh), says it was a time of growth. I don’t like change, but it’s oh so very good for me, as long as I hold onto Him who holds me together.

I happened upon a blog today while browsing Technorati. I generally don’t follow personal blogs if I don’t know the author, but Fire Shut Up In My Bones caught my eye, and has now been added to my daily RSS aggregator. It’s beatifully written, full of thoughts that tug a little smile onto the corners of your mouth, while tugging a little on your heart as well. I’d recommend you drop by for a quick visit.

And now, off to sleep, as I try not to think of everything I have to do tomorrow.

I’m think I’m about to go on an great adventure, one I’ll possibly regret. To keep you from worrying: it doesn’t involve last night’s moody post, and won’t result in drunkenness, pregnancy, incarceration, or hospitalization. Wish me luck, or at least wish I’ll change my mind.

I’m following in the footsteps of all other women that have graced the world with their small and delicate footprints: I’m emotional and moody, for absolutely no other reason than that I exist. Consider yourself warned, and DON’T read the rest of the post. Shoo. Go away. The only reason I post this is because it’s already written, and I enjoy looking back on my moodiness and laughing at how pathetic I am.

…ok, you’ve been warned. I dropped my earring in the sink this morning, and couldn’t get it out. My practicum badge disappeared somewhere between the cafeteria at 7 am and practicum at 8 am, so now I have to get a new one. We interviewed a preteen boy today that was so terrified of his father that he curled up in a near-fetal position and had trouble breathing by the end of the conversation due to sheer panic. And I graduate in 3 months and people kept asking me today what I want to do then, and I don’t know, and I don’t really want to think about it because I don’t want to grow up (I’m a Toys-R-Us kid).

Anyhow……my day went objectively better after practicum. I got back to campus, was feeling antisocial, but still wanted to see friends. So I went to Justin’s house and watched a movie with Diana, Mandie, and Tim, and really had a good time. Started feeling vaguely social, so went to Kresge Cafe with Diana and Tim. Tim immediately became social and disappeared, and Diana became antisocial shortly after and left. Drove Diana to her car at Justin’s place, came back, and sat in the parking lot staring at nothing for 20 minutes. Realized I was rather lonely for people. Called my wonderful little brother Jonathan (he’s a head taller than me, but he’ll always be little) and talked for a few minutes. Then I sat there staring blankly at my cell phone wanting to call people, but didn’t, because I assumed that either they were out of town (including my beautiful roommate), otherwise occupied (like everyone at the Grille movie, which I’m avoiding because that’s a few too many people), or they really wouldn’t want to do something with me anyways.

So now it’s midnight, I’m sad, bored, lonely, and being reminded by my moods that I am, indeed, entirely of the female persuasion. And I could’ve resolved all of it by just picking up the phone and saying “Hey, you busy? Let’s do something.” Silly foolish me. It’s funny though, objectively, since I know in my head I’m being silly and I still can’t help but want to burrow under the covers and have a good cry for absolutely no reason whatsoever.

I got my credit card bill yesterday, and it was probably the funniest I’ll ever receive… From the “Credit Essentials from Chase” flyer included with the bill:

JOIN THE +1 GROUP ON FACEBOOK

Chase is excited to announce the +1 program, a totally new way to hook up your friends, your community, and yourself.

+1 is about being a part of something. Connecting with others, to do what you do even better. And there’s no better place for that than on Facebook.

What goes around comes around. As part of the +1 program, you can earn Karma Points (like reward points, only better) for things you do, buy, and learn. For example:

• Get your friends to join the +1 group. Get Karma Points.
• Learn even more about credit on Facebook. Get Karma Points.
• Give Karma Points to your friends or your community. Get more in return.
• Find out about more ways to earn Karma Points in the +1 Group.

The +1 Group on Facebook. Here’s where you put your Karma Points to work. Share them to surprise a friend. Pool them with your roommates. Hook up your favorite charity, or start something brand new.

Get great gifts. Give back. Get involved. It all comes together when you join the +1 Group on Facebook. Empowered by Chase.

Um. Thanks, Facebook and Chase, but no thanks.

Dear in Christ,

Calvary greetings in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. I am Hellen Gill, a member of Day Spring Ministry, basically a Prayer and deliverance Ministry.

During a Prayer and fasting session in my Ministry, I asked our Lord Jesus Christ to give me the opportunity to redeem my life and purify what remains of my wealth, God delivery revealed to me to Invest in His Kingdom through you and your Ministry.

You should immediately contact me via my email address with your telephone and fax numbers to enable me introduce you to the security company for the release of the $2.5million dollars.

Remain blessed.
Sister Hellen

I always love looking at the search engine referrals to my site……it’s interesting to wonder what was going through people’s heads as they wrote their search queries, and what their subsequent thoughts were as they visited my site.

Such as the poor confused soul that asks, “Is social work for me?” Maybe I convinced them it was. Or maybe I convinced them it wasn’t. Not sure which option frightens me more.

Or “Pick a random religion for me”, for which my Religion tags page is the first hit on Google. That’s even scarier. Either they love or hate Christianity now, I suppose. Or they just moved on and clicked the next link down.

And some poor students appears to be looking for “a paper on a life lesson”. Unfortunately, they probably didn’t find much on my site worth plagiarizing. Best of luck–NOT! (punk, that’ll teach you to try to cheat off me)